tag:kinginbeijing.blog.co.uk,2009-11-07:/Big Tom's escapades in China, "an international underground sensation!"MokoFeed2009-11-07T23:58:07+01:00tag:kinginbeijing.blog.co.uk,2008-07-21:/2005/11/20/william_it_was_really_nothing~322032/#c7330269silly2008-07-21T01:39:32+02:002008-07-21T01:39:32+02:00try some of the best <a href="http://www.tlvmodels.com">online casinos</a> sites and best <a href="http://www.ix-casinos.com">online casino</a> bonusestag:kinginbeijing.blog.co.uk,2006-02-08:/2006/01/24/title~501021/#c666321Surplus Thomas Herbert2006-02-08T05:14:24+01:002006-02-08T05:14:24+01:00The football shirt you all want for Christmas...<br> <br> http://www.theregister.co.uk/2006/02/06/peruvian_footie_team/tag:kinginbeijing.blog.co.uk,2006-02-07:/2006/01/24/title~501021/#c664456The poor Jew2006-02-07T19:48:18+01:002006-02-07T19:48:18+01:00More pictures of hansome jewish men please.tag:kinginbeijing.blog.co.uk,2006-01-30:/2006/01/24/title~501021/#c626186Palatable Big Fritz2006-01-30T15:08:02+01:002006-01-30T15:08:02+01:00Haversack? Haver-suck more like...<br> <br> Haver-suck? Now if I were a more controversial character I'd mention CHH's name here. But I'm not. So I won't.<br> <br> tag:kinginbeijing.blog.co.uk,2006-01-28:/2006/01/24/title~501021/#c617448Surplus Thomas Herbert2006-01-28T07:12:45+01:002006-01-28T07:12:45+01:00I know what you mean, less of a rucksack and more of a rucksick...tag:kinginbeijing.blog.co.uk,2006-01-26:/2006/01/24/title~501021/#c608862Surfing Fritz2006-01-26T13:31:12+01:002006-01-26T13:31:12+01:00Looks like a holds-f*ck all to me!tag:kinginbeijing.blog.co.uk,2006-01-19:/2006/01/18/rapping_it_up~481963/#c577844kinginbeijing2006-01-19T15:16:37+01:002006-01-19T15:16:37+01:00Bradley, I can't believe you hit us with a 'snow' pun. It's a new high/low on the site.<br> <br> Away from guns, bling and bacon for a second, today was classic China. I had purchased a USB card to store my lesson plans on (net value 200 yuan), and then left it in its bag hanging on my bike while I went shopping... I realised after 10 minutes and went runnning back, to find it still there, phew! However, my lovely bike-seat cover had been stolen (net value 5 yuan). Brilliant.<br> <br> By the way, did you hear that China are planning to move a small island in the mediterranean sea and put it at high altitude? Apparently they're calling it Cyprus Hill.tag:kinginbeijing.blog.co.uk,2006-01-18:/2006/01/18/rapping_it_up~481963/#c572895Brad2006-01-18T13:49:55+01:002006-01-18T13:49:55+01:00Boo! That effort was Snow lametag:kinginbeijing.blog.co.uk,2006-01-18:/2006/01/18/rapping_it_up~481963/#c572333Surfing Fritz2006-01-18T11:28:24+01:002006-01-18T11:28:24+01:00I get it - The Game is to name as many rappers as possible. <br> <br> Anyway, Nas to hear from you King, you Ol' Dirty Bastard, but I best be off. I've got Tupac my bags for a sleazy weekend away...<br> <br> tag:kinginbeijing.blog.co.uk,2006-01-14:/2006/01/05/white_rabbits~442014/#c555002Surplus Thomas Herbert2006-01-14T10:24:54+01:002006-01-14T10:24:54+01:00Easy mates!<br> <br> the site has taken a turn for the worst since I last visited with all these purile references to male genetalia. Perhaps I should make it a 'members only' website?<br> <br> I am currently making Fuzhou into Funzhou, and will be back in Beijing on Tuesday for more posting fun. Until then amigos adios,<br> <br> Thomastag:kinginbeijing.blog.co.uk,2006-01-13:/2006/01/05/white_rabbits~442014/#c553720beckiwoo2006-01-13T21:17:09+01:002006-01-13T21:17:09+01:00FRITZ BEHAVE, and as for you thomas!!!! I will have no more of that talk on tom's lovely civilised website, oh no, wait....tag:kinginbeijing.blog.co.uk,2006-01-10:/2006/01/05/white_rabbits~442014/#c538241Palatable Big Fritz2006-01-10T16:12:52+01:002006-01-10T16:12:52+01:00That was a pretty stock joke King...<br> <br> Whilst we're on the subject I imagine CHH will be quite happy if Zhou is well hung.<br> <br> Ok, ok, I'm going, tail between legs. EASY!!tag:kinginbeijing.blog.co.uk,2006-01-10:/2006/01/05/white_rabbits~442014/#c538006kinginbeijing2006-01-10T15:18:21+01:002006-01-10T15:18:21+01:00'Perfectly adequate' eh? Reading between the lines a little, I think there is definately a hint of disapointment at the lack of member-mentioning in my guide. Perhaps next time I could put together some sort of Michelin style guide? I don't have any experiences to mention myself (although the guys in the toilets at this Chinese club we went to seemed very interested in MINE - I could have sold tickets!).<br> <br> Right, I'm off to Hangzhou tomorrow, not sure what Zhou thinks of this... I think he/she would find it quite funny, gallows humour and all that.tag:kinginbeijing.blog.co.uk,2006-01-08:/2006/01/05/white_rabbits~442014/#c529813beckiwoo2006-01-08T16:08:38+01:002006-01-08T16:08:38+01:00Fritz<br> <br> You're an idiot (and very naughty!!) I found tom's guide to china perfectly adequate thank youtag:kinginbeijing.blog.co.uk,2006-01-05:/2006/01/05/white_rabbits~442014/#c519480Palatable Big Fritz2006-01-05T14:36:14+01:002006-01-05T14:36:14+01:00King - good to hear from you now Christmas is over and all the Bei-jingle Bells have been cleared away for another year. However I'm a little disappointed that your tour guide doesn't include a section for Cock Hungry members of the Herbert family.<br> <br> I'm a what? A disgrace? Oh...tag:kinginbeijing.blog.co.uk,2006-01-03:/2005/12/21/so_here_it_is~403904/#c511402The doubly terrible German2006-01-03T14:16:34+01:002006-01-03T14:16:34+01:00Pubilius Syrup...? Is that a merkin? Syrus you say...? My apologies...tag:kinginbeijing.blog.co.uk,2005-12-27:/2005/12/21/so_here_it_is~403904/#c489653Hannie2005-12-27T08:33:54+01:002005-12-27T08:33:54+01:00Oh thomas! Tell your friend I like his noddy joke. My goodness.... You manage to write your blog site just like you speak. I am reading with Thomas voice in my head - mmmmahhhh! Hxxxtag:kinginbeijing.blog.co.uk,2005-12-24:/2005/12/21/so_here_it_is~403904/#c483341kinginbeijing2005-12-24T06:00:37+01:002005-12-24T06:00:37+01:00Wow... thanks Fred! I like your site too, and if you could pick me up one of those battle deer for xmas I'd be very grateful.<br> <br> I think it's safe to say that this is the first internet site to combine Publilius Syrus and the c word. Fritz, I've said it before and I'll say it again, you are a terrible, terrible man.<br> <br> Right, I'm off skiing in 30 minutes, and I have christmas presents to buy... yikes! <br> <br> MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!!!<br> <br> tag:kinginbeijing.blog.co.uk,2005-12-23:/2005/12/21/so_here_it_is~403904/#c480982Fred2005-12-23T13:28:11+01:002005-12-23T13:28:11+01:00Nice blog Tom, very entertaining! I will bookmark it under comedy in my favourites la.<br> <br> Fredtag:kinginbeijing.blog.co.uk,2005-12-23:/2005/12/21/so_here_it_is~403904/#c480875The doubly terrible German2005-12-23T12:52:53+01:002005-12-23T12:52:53+01:00Festive cheer to one and all. Enjoy the skiing, King scribe and I look forward to more blogging in the New Year. <br> <br> As it's my last post of the year, I'd like to finish on a good old joke.<br> <br> Why does Noddy wear a hat with a bell on it?<br> <br> Because he's a cunt.<br> <br> Merry Christmas.<br> <br> Fritztag:kinginbeijing.blog.co.uk,2005-12-21:/2005/12/21/so_here_it_is~403904/#c474495kinginbeijing2005-12-21T17:25:53+01:002005-12-21T17:25:53+01:00You'll be glad to know that the tracksuits are standard school issue! I have been trying to obtain one for quite some time now, but with little success. <br> <br> In other news, today I dressed up as Santa Claus and danced around for an audience of 500 at Beijing number 11 school. Holy smokes!<br> <br> The skiing is all booked - big tree here I come (swoosh swoosh wallop!).tag:kinginbeijing.blog.co.uk,2005-12-21:/2005/12/21/so_here_it_is~403904/#c473050Brad2005-12-21T11:07:15+01:002005-12-21T11:07:15+01:00The boy is a star! Judging by that tracksuit, Gola have already signed him up for the next olympics!tag:kinginbeijing.blog.co.uk,2005-12-20:/2005/12/13/stocking_up_for_christmas~382953/#c468820The doubly terrible German2005-12-20T12:17:19+01:002005-12-20T12:17:19+01:00Last one I promise... but I read today that Gary Glitter has asked that his ashes be left to Etch-a-Sketch. He wants the kids to be able to play with him after he's dead.<br> tag:kinginbeijing.blog.co.uk,2005-12-17:/2005/12/13/stocking_up_for_christmas~382953/#c443993kinginbeijing2005-12-17T04:31:50+01:002005-12-17T04:31:50+01:00Mein gat! I will use the remaining time I have left on the air to tell Fritz off, and then to tell another hilarious Christmas joke. Why couldn't the skeleton go to the Christmas party? He had nobody to go with...tag:kinginbeijing.blog.co.uk,2005-12-16:/2005/12/13/stocking_up_for_christmas~382953/#c440876The doubly terrible German2005-12-16T17:19:30+01:002005-12-16T17:19:30+01:00I'm not trying to get the website banned i promise... but it's Friday... it's Christmas... so:<br> <br> Q. Why do they call the camel "the ship of the desert?"<br> <br> A. Because it's full of Arab semen.tag:kinginbeijing.blog.co.uk,2005-12-15:/2005/12/13/stocking_up_for_christmas~382953/#c431042The terrible German2005-12-15T14:47:18+01:002005-12-15T14:47:18+01:00Well if we're doing rubbish Christmas gags...<br> <br> What's red and white and gives presents to gazelles?<br> <br> Santalope!tag:kinginbeijing.blog.co.uk,2005-12-15:/2005/12/13/stocking_up_for_christmas~382953/#c429290kinginbeijing2005-12-15T08:58:46+01:002005-12-15T08:58:46+01:00Yikes! Sadly I have to write my lesson plans myself, although any help would be gladly accepted (apart from disgraced former glam-rock stars, as well as the obvious, his songs were rubbish).<br> <br> To move the jokes swiftly on from the subject of alleged child abuse, why does Santa Claus have three gardens? So he can ho-ho-ho...tag:kinginbeijing.blog.co.uk,2005-12-14:/2005/12/13/stocking_up_for_christmas~382953/#c422332The thieving German2005-12-14T14:11:43+01:002005-12-14T14:11:43+01:00To plagiarise Vlad quite blatantly...<br> <br> Why does Gary Glitter carry a hipflask?<br> <br> He likes a little nip now and then.<br> <br> tag:kinginbeijing.blog.co.uk,2005-12-14:/2005/12/06/ok_computer_not~364503/#c422140Angry Vlad2005-12-14T13:14:37+01:002005-12-14T13:14:37+01:00Damn... All the good puns are gone... <br> <br> Though I am surprised no one has asked if the locals were looking a bit nippy?tag:kinginbeijing.blog.co.uk,2005-12-14:/2005/12/13/stocking_up_for_christmas~382953/#c422138The Skiving Senator2005-12-14T13:13:21+01:002005-12-14T13:13:21+01:00Sounds like this years Xmas decorations in China will be mostly inspired by Glitter...