King in Beijing

In response to: "William, it was really nothing" 474 days old
by silly [Visitor]

try some of the best online casinos sites and best online casino bonuses more…

In response to: "Hanging Zhou" 1368 days old
by Surplus Thomas Herbert [Visitor]

The football shirt you all want for Christmas...

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2006/02/06/peruvian_footie_team/ more…

In response to: "Hanging Zhou" 1369 days old
by The poor Jew [Visitor]

More pictures of hansome jewish men please. more…

In response to: "Hanging Zhou" 1377 days old
by Palatable Big Fritz [Visitor]

Haversack? Haver-suck more like...

Haver-suck? Now if I were a more controversial character I'd mention CHH's name here. But I'm not. So I won't.

more…

In response to: "Hanging Zhou" 1379 days old
by Surplus Thomas Herbert [Visitor]

I know what you mean, less of a rucksack and more of a rucksick... more…

In response to: "Hanging Zhou" 1381 days old
by Surfing Fritz [Visitor]

Looks like a holds-f*ck all to me! more…

In response to: "Rapping it up" 1388 days old
by kinginbeijing [Member]

Bradley, I can't believe you hit us with a 'snow' pun. It's a new high/low on the site.

Away from guns, bling and bacon for a second, today was classic China. I had purchased a USB card to store my lesson plans on (net value 200 yuan), and then left it in its bag hanging on my bike while I went shopping... I realised after 10 minutes more…

In response to: "Rapping it up" 1389 days old
by Brad [Visitor]

Boo! That effort was Snow lame more…

In response to: "Rapping it up" 1389 days old
by Surfing Fritz [Visitor]

I get it - The Game is to name as many rappers as possible.

Anyway, Nas to hear from you King, you Ol' Dirty Bastard, but I best be off. I've got Tupac my bags for a sleazy weekend away...

more…

In response to: "White rabbits" 1393 days old
by Surplus Thomas Herbert [Visitor]

Easy mates!

the site has taken a turn for the worst since I last visited with all these purile references to male genetalia. Perhaps I should make it a 'members only' website?

I am currently making Fuzhou into Funzhou, and will be back in Beijing on Tuesday for more posting fun. Until then amigos adios,

Thom more…

In response to: "White rabbits" 1394 days old
by beckiwoo [Member]

FRITZ BEHAVE, and as for you thomas!!!! I will have no more of that talk on tom's lovely civilised website, oh no, wait.... more…

In response to: "White rabbits" 1397 days old
by Palatable Big Fritz [Visitor]

That was a pretty stock joke King...

Whilst we're on the subject I imagine CHH will be quite happy if Zhou is well hung.

Ok, ok, I'm going, tail between legs. EASY!! more…

In response to: "White rabbits" 1397 days old
by kinginbeijing [Member]

'Perfectly adequate' eh? Reading between the lines a little, I think there is definately a hint of disapointment at the lack of member-mentioning in my guide. Perhaps next time I could put together some sort of Michelin style guide? I don't have any experiences to mention myself (although the guys in the toilets at this Chinese club we went to s more…

In response to: "White rabbits" 1399 days old
by beckiwoo [Member]

Fritz

You're an idiot (and very naughty!!) I found tom's guide to china perfectly adequate thank you more…

In response to: "White rabbits" 1402 days old
by Palatable Big Fritz [Visitor]

King - good to hear from you now Christmas is over and all the Bei-jingle Bells have been cleared away for another year. However I'm a little disappointed that your tour guide doesn't include a section for Cock Hungry members of the Herbert family.

I'm a what? A disgrace? Oh... more…

In response to: "So here it is..." 1404 days old
by The doubly terrible German [Visitor]

Pubilius Syrup...? Is that a merkin? Syrus you say...? My apologies... more…

In response to: "So here it is..." 1411 days old
by Hannie [Visitor]

Oh thomas! Tell your friend I like his noddy joke. My goodness.... You manage to write your blog site just like you speak. I am reading with Thomas voice in my head - mmmmahhhh! Hxxx more…

In response to: "So here it is..." 1414 days old
by kinginbeijing [Member]

Wow... thanks Fred! I like your site too, and if you could pick me up one of those battle deer for xmas I'd be very grateful.

I think it's safe to say that this is the first internet site to combine Publilius Syrus and the c word. Fritz, I've said it before and I'll say it again, you are a terrible, terrible man.

Right, more…

In response to: "So here it is..." 1415 days old
by Fred [Visitor]

Nice blog Tom, very entertaining! I will bookmark it under comedy in my favourites la.

Fred more…

In response to: "So here it is..." 1415 days old
by The doubly terrible German [Visitor]

Festive cheer to one and all. Enjoy the skiing, King scribe and I look forward to more blogging in the New Year.

As it's my last post of the year, I'd like to finish on a good old joke.

Why does Noddy wear a hat with a bell on it?

Because he's a cunt.

Merry Christmas.

Fritz more…

In response to: "So here it is..." 1417 days old
by kinginbeijing [Member]

You'll be glad to know that the tracksuits are standard school issue! I have been trying to obtain one for quite some time now, but with little success.

In other news, today I dressed up as Santa Claus and danced around for an audience of 500 at Beijing number 11 school. Holy smokes!

The skiing is all booked - big tree more…

In response to: "So here it is..." 1417 days old
by Brad [Visitor]

The boy is a star! Judging by that tracksuit, Gola have already signed him up for the next olympics! more…

In response to: "Stocking up for Christmas" 1418 days old
by The doubly terrible German [Visitor]

Last one I promise... but I read today that Gary Glitter has asked that his ashes be left to Etch-a-Sketch. He wants the kids to be able to play with him after he's dead.
more…

In response to: "Stocking up for Christmas" 1421 days old
by kinginbeijing [Member]

Mein gat! I will use the remaining time I have left on the air to tell Fritz off, and then to tell another hilarious Christmas joke. Why couldn't the skeleton go to the Christmas party? He had nobody to go with... more…

In response to: "Stocking up for Christmas" 1422 days old
by The doubly terrible German [Visitor]

I'm not trying to get the website banned i promise... but it's Friday... it's Christmas... so:

Q. Why do they call the camel "the ship of the desert?"

A. Because it's full of Arab semen. more…

In response to: "Stocking up for Christmas" 1423 days old
by The terrible German [Visitor]

Well if we're doing rubbish Christmas gags...

What's red and white and gives presents to gazelles?

Santalope! more…

In response to: "Stocking up for Christmas" 1423 days old
by kinginbeijing [Member]

Yikes! Sadly I have to write my lesson plans myself, although any help would be gladly accepted (apart from disgraced former glam-rock stars, as well as the obvious, his songs were rubbish).

To move the jokes swiftly on from the subject of alleged child abuse, why does Santa Claus have three gardens? So he can ho-ho-ho... more…

In response to: "Stocking up for Christmas" 1424 days old
by The thieving German [Visitor]

To plagiarise Vlad quite blatantly...

Why does Gary Glitter carry a hipflask?

He likes a little nip now and then.

more…

In response to: "OK Computer - Not!" 1424 days old
by Angry Vlad [Visitor]

Damn... All the good puns are gone...

Though I am surprised no one has asked if the locals were looking a bit nippy? more…

In response to: "Stocking up for Christmas" 1424 days old
by The Skiving Senator [Visitor]

Sounds like this years Xmas decorations in China will be mostly inspired by Glitter... more…