King in Beijing

Guten tag Blog-surfers!

Has it really been nine whole days since I updated? It seems like only yesterday...

I have returned from my visit to Shanghai to see the lovely Isabel, and it was surely the bestest weekend ever in China! We checked out the garden city of Suzhou, which was very nice. Here is a picture of me looking like the sirry-irriot I am:

On Saturday morning in Suzhou, the locals were shocked when at breakfast we ordered what we thought was a coffee, but turned out to be an 'Irish Coffee' - woah! (in a Bill and Ted stylee). So slightly worse for wear we stumbled around places such as the 'Garden of the master of the nets', and the 'Surging Wave Pavilion', although we didn't make it to the 'Mystery Shop of Holy Things'.

Upon returning to Shanghai, we had an afternoon in Zhongshan Park, where the spirit of John Travolta circa 1974 lives on in Chinese form:

You see it in parks all over China, people happily dancing away without a care in the world, with a disc jockey spinning the latest tunes from the hit parade for all the groovy cats.

All in all, a brilliant weekend, and now everyone can live my weekend too! The photos are on my 'King in Beijing - The album' website (see link on the right hand side'. If you like... there are lots of them though!

In other news, it's nearly Christmas and I'm still waiting for the postman to bring me that stack of cards and presents. Must be en-route...

Until next time, keep watching the skis,

Thomas

FOUR

Ni hao my friends,

Excitement! Today we auditioned for an as-yet untitled TV show to be broadcast on Chinese national TV. I read for the role of a 35 year old American doctor who was angry with one of his nurses. Sadly, the doctor in the script can speak fluent Chinese (and has many lines in said language), and while my Chinese is a lot of things, fluent it is not. I gallently put on my best angry voice and shouted at the director in Chinese, but I feel that you may have to wait a while to see me on your screens!

What else has been happening? I had my first bicycle riding experience in China. It was very scary, and I feel I may need to improve a lot to get as good as this guy:

Not an isolated incident, if possible most Chinese people like to cycle balancing something on their shoulders. I also saw a man cycling with a puppy in his coat the other day.

Anyway, after almost 2 years away from the King's court, guess who rocks up in Beijing?

No need! William is very well, and has so far stayed away from the swimming pools of Beijing. Within a day of getting to my school he was put to work assessing whether students could take part in a foreign exchange programme. Only in China!

The coming week sees me travelling down to Shanghai, and paying a visit to the garden city of Suzhou, home of many canals, and (according to the Lonely Planet) a shop called 'The Mystery Shop of Holy Things'. I can't wait! Until next time, adios amigos,

Thomas

A QUARTER OF A YEAR, WOW!

I can hear the groans halfway round the world.

Apologies for not updating sooner, all a bit hectic with exams and time off afterwards. I used my time off very productively. One of the things I did was to go and see Little Tom in Tianjin, which is about an hours train ride south east of Beijing.

According to www.tianjinexpats.com, Tianjin is the biggest city no one has ever heard of (around 10 million people reside in the Greater Tianjin area), and apparently comes in behind Mexico City as the 2nd dirtiest city in the world. To be honest I didn't think it was that bad, but I am living in Beijing! Reading the amusing blog entitled "where the streets have no drains" (clever U2 reference there, but it doesn't make the band any less average) the city doesn't seem to cope well with rain!

Anyway, here is a picture of Little Tom in 'Ancient Culture Street', jigging with happiness as he had just bought a bamboo flute:

Which he played for the stall-owners, the taxi driver and the waitress in the bar. Lovely stuff. I think I drank about as much beer in two days as I have in my entire time in Beijing!

So, what else have I done with my spare time? I've used it to grow a beard, look!

Nice. Back to reality on Tuesday, urgh...I mean, hooray! Until the next time, zaijian!

Thomas

GET RID OF THE BEARD? YES OR NO..?

Here is a quick guide to taking an exam in China:

1. Push your desk as close as possible to your neighbour.
2. Make sure you have a large pile of books, other junk and of course your English revision handout on your desk. Ignore repeated instructions to move them.
3. Keep your computer dictionary on your lap, and blatently check it throughout the exam, despite the fact it is written on the board you are not allowed them (and the teacher has told you 3 times not to use them). Look shocked and surprised when you received a warning.
4. Catch up with the latest gossip or just exchange answers with your friends in a whisper that can be heard in the next district.
5. Why not write a summary of the revision sheet on a tissue, and then pretend to dab your eye with it?
(This option is for advanced exam-takers only!)
6. If you finish early, DO NOT check through your answers. If possible either go to sleep on your desk, or finish off that tricky chemistry homework Mr. Wang set you last week. Throw a tantrum when told not to do this, and mutter Chinese swear-words when you receive a warning for said tantrum.
7. Finished early suggestion 2. Why not catch up with the latest football gossip with a magazine hidden under your desk?

It's been a tough week, but the exams are over! Time for a well earned rest I think. Pictures coming soon, for now, zaijian!

Thomas

COOL ENGLISH! GOOD TEACHER!

Ni hao blog readers!

Apologies for being out of action for so long, it's all been a bit much for me lately what with setting exams for the little cherubs and what-not. When I told them they had an exam, they reacted with a mixture of shock and anger, shouting "No! No exam teacher no exam!" We'll see how we get on tomomorrow, am expecting more cheating than a Spanish stag night, but we shall see.

Anyway, food in China. It has been pointed out to me several times that if all the Chinese ate was beef chow mein with half-rice/half chips (with prawn crackers), then they would all be enormous. And they're not. So, what do they eat?

Well, food is very important here, and as any guidebook worth its salt will tell you, a standard greeting here is 'ni chi le me?' or, 'have you eaten?'. This can be another way of saying 'how are you?', or can just mean 'have you eaten?', and can get very confusing. For me anyway.

In terms of actual food, they love their dumplings here - but not the Devil's dumplings I hasten to add! They also like something called a 'hotpot'. Sadly this is not the same as in the North of England, where (if you believe the stories) people in flat caps gather round a steaming bowl of meat and potatoes and talk about their pigeons. A Chinese Hotpot involves the waiter firing up a parafin lamp, putting a bowl of water and oil on top of said lamp, and then brings out the raw ingredients for you to cook for yourself... It's all good fun and very cheap, but if you have a sensitive stomach or are vegetarian, it may be wise to steer clear!

A very quick MHU, he was told off today for drawing what looked remarkably like a camouflage uniform in his book, and then spent the rest of the lesson sulking.

Sorry there are no photos, I have to go and clear out some space from my site so I can put more on (or pay 4 euros a month for more space, hmmm). Time for bed one feels, am feeling decidedly dodgy after yesterdays flu injection and todays food. Yikes.

Wan an,

Thomas

5 MORE PAGES OF MY BOOK TO GO... THE TENSION IS KILLING ME!